It’s 10:34 pm and I’m sitting at my younger sister’s house and trying to figure out what to say. It’s been an intriguing year. A lot has happened, and a lot didn’t happen either. I ask myself, what am I supposed to be feeling? At peace? Hopeful? Thankful? If anything, I’m a bit anxious…
If you have read through The Beginning of it All, then you’ll know Rochelle Tan and I embarked on this adventure to start InBiteSize earlier this year. For the past seven months, we’ve been hard at work to curate a selection of tools and reviews to help you, help your teams become great. On top of that, we’ve been researching ways to make our work more accessible, effective, and relevant. For example, we introduced an article regarding AI in November.
In my own world, I picked up two new sports, biking and running, and competed in my first professional race. (In fact, I was crazy enough to sign up and complete two of them within a two month period) I was amazed with my own discipline to the sport and my commitment to not finishing last. In addition, I gained a new appreciation of a hobby (running) that both my mother and younger sister love. Hopefully, it is something that I can share with them even though we’re 1,900 miles apart.
On top of that, I’ve entered a new life stage with my longtime partner. We tied the knot this past summer and now reside in a suburb of the San Francisco Bay Area. It’s been fun going on spontaneous weeknight dates to Costco and knowing that I have someone to come home to. Plus, I have come to realize how lonely I truly was during the pandemic and how much I craved social connection. Now, I make sure that I cherish the time I have with others.
So, what’s going on? Maybe I’m anxious because I feel that I have people counting on me every moment of my life. One, I now have deadlines outside of work. Two, I no longer live alone. Three, we have an adorable cat that relies on us. For each of these relationships, I strive to be a better partner. To me, that means giving my 100% in all the endeavors I commit to, while also making sure I give 100% to myself. And I think, am I doing enough…
What I have learned from watching Brené Brown’s docuseries Atlas of the Heart, anxiety, and excitement are two sides of the same coin. That same tension and shortness of breath we experience when we’re anxious is very similar, if not the same physiology that we feel, when we’re excited. As Brown puts it, it may be time to befriend anxiety.
Let me start over. It’s 11:44 pm, and I’m lying in bed at my younger sister’s home and reflecting on all that has come to pass. There’s been many highs from starting this blog with Rochelle to achieving a personal record (PR) in the 5K. Likewise, there’s been many challenges, like navigating the home-buying process in the San Francisco Bay Area and all the people-pleasing and society-shaming that comes with wedding planning. It’s been an intriguing year.
So how am I feeling? Frankly, I didn’t undergo a huge emotional transformation in the last hour. Yes, I’m still a bit nervous. Yes, there’s still a lot of thoughts swirling in my head. And yes, I still feel a little sick in the stomach at the thought of them. And maybe I’m a little bit excited, too, because there’s a lot to savor and be proud of. Plus, I know there are many great things to come in the new year from InBiteSize’s new podcast series to my partner and I’s first trip to Japan.
So as the year winds down and a new one approaches, I’ll take a cup of kindness yet for Auld Lang Syne.
Looking for a bit of inspiration for the new year? Check out How To Find A Hobby or one of our book reviews, including Atomic Habits, and The Tipping Point.